Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen Review(SPOILERS)

SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS wrote:Okay, you start off with a narrative of the shared history of the robots and humans.

Then you get the special unit along with the Autobots fighting some decepticons. You start straight off with epic giant robots beating the ever loving crap out of one another.

Then, you skip to Sam. And this is where this movie is superior to the other. The humans scenes are greatly reduced. With the intro done with, and the characters there, you can have more room for epic giant robot fights.

So, Sam is all happy and what not, until shit happens. He touches a piece of the all spark, and boom! He sees shit. He drops the piece, and it melts the floor, ending up in the kitchen and creating some bad bots. Bumblebee, who still lives with Sam, handles all but one...and destroys Sam's house in the process. Sam gives the shard to his girlfriend and leves for college (translation: Here, you handle it, I'm a bitch)

Then we see the the usual bureaucratic bullshit from the government, as they have a sore anus about Optimus not sharing the autobot technology with them (fuck off is what would say). They start to emply that they want them off the planet, cause they think the Decipticons are there for them. Prime pwns their ass with logic by saying that they could e wrong

So, Sam then goes to college, goes to a party, meets a chick, avoids her cause he has a girlfriend, yada yada yada Bumblebee drops by to take Sam to Optimus, and pwns the slut while he's at it.
Optimus ask for help, but Sam gets bitchy and says he want to be normal (I swear to good Optimus should have blown him up...winy emo)

Meanwhile, Mikaela meets a surviving decepticon from the inicial attack in Sam's house, fucks up his eye, and put him in a box. She calls Sam and tells him she is coming over

On other zones, soundwave hacks a satellite, and retrieves the location of Megatrons body and the last piece of the all spark in the military's possession (not the other one. There's two). Put two and two, and you realize Megatron comes back...and he his a pissed of cunt at this point. He flies back to his some where, finds Startscream and beats the shit out of him for leaving Earth like a bitch. We then meet the Fallen, a rabot sitting in a chair. He says then need more power, and it's on Earth. They say that Sam knows where to find it, because he touched the all spark. He also says that only a Prime can kill him, and Megatron gets ready for some major bullshit preparation

Anyway, Sam loses it and starts writing symbols everywhere. The bitch from before finds these symbols for some reason and gets him on the bed, her on top. She then produces a mechanical tail to prob his mind (I soooo saw that coming). The girlfriend arrives at the campus, and catches the twp. At first, the slut bot withdraws the tail and she leaves, but she son pulls it out again and starts beating the ever loving crap out a Sam. This promotes the girlfriend to go back and save him (lucky bastard)

So, they start to run, and we are treated to a good old terminator like pursuit. They manage to escape...only to get captured by the big ones. Megatron as this little guy probe Sam's mind, and just when you think the emo is dead, the /b/lackup arrives.

They start to fight, and Sam gets aboard Optimus, and drives to some woods. We are then threated to, in my opinion, the best fight in the movie. Optimus takes on both Starscream, as well as Megatron and some other guy. Think he's Grindor. He manages to kill the former, but Megatron cheap shots him...and kills him. Manly tears were shed.

The Fallen says the last Prime is dead and goes to earth (seriously, do your own damned dirt work you BITCH!)

So, Sam gets all emo and decides that whatever is going on in his head is what Megatron wants and he needs to get it first.

Then go find some guy that's runs a rival site of Leo (He's a guy that followed Sam when he got attacked by the slut bot)

Turns out it's agent Simmons. from the first movie.

He starts to talk about Transformers being on Earth since way back. The little guy that Mikaela pwned earlier tells them they are seekers, and leads them to one, Jetfire, and old guy that defected from the Decepticons from the autobot. At first he seems senile, but then tells his story (during this time we see the funniest scene in the movie, where the bot Mikaela pwned finds out he can defect, he immediately does so and starts humping her leg...I LMAO as well as the entire movie theater. So, Jetfire creates a portal and takes them to Egypt. He then tells them a story about the original Transformers, the Primes. They used suns to power the all spark, but never used suns with inhabited planets. One of them tried to, and became know as the Fallen. The other Primes couldn't kill him for some reason, so they took the key to the sun destroying machine on Earth, and created a tomb from their own bodies to protect it. Sam decides to find it and use it to bring Prime back

Sam, after some searching and funny scenes with two small autobots twins called Mudflap and Skids, they find the darn thing, but it turns to dust. In a rare moment of NOT being emo, Sam collects the dust ans says that he believes it will bring Optimus back.

The soldiers of the anti bad bots squad send some bitch from the white house flying off a plane, and bring the autbots and Optimus's body to the desert. Then then get attack by the Decepticons, and an epic battle occurs.

One the other end, Sam and Mikaela escape, and Simmons stays behind with the twins to call the attention of the pursuing bad bots. They get attack by Devastator, a combo guy made from all sorts of cars. The twins pwn his ass, but can't kill him cause he's too big. We then get threated to the coolest scene in the movie. With Simmons giving direction over a radio, a military ship with a special cannon fires at Devastator, bringing him down.

Okay, so then Sam finally gets to Optimus, but the enemies get closer. Jetfire gets in and kicks ass, but gets mortally wounded...side face...

Just as Sam arrives near Optimus, he gets caught in an explosion and dies...which his stupid. We then get threated to stupid slow mo...not bad for dramatic effect, but you know giant robot fight is about to go down, so it's annoying. Sam then meets the Primes in a sort of dream world, courtesy of the key's dust spreading over his body. They bring him back to life, and tell him what to do. The key recomposes, and Sam jams it into Optimus Primes's chest.

So, the the Fallen walks in and steals the key. I was annoyed that after all that, Optimus is still too damaged to fight. Jetfire begs to differ. He gives his life to Optimus, and combines his parts with his. Optimus flies off, destroys the machine (which was in the Gize Pyramids.) and kills the Fallen after an epic fight (his other fight was more awesome, but whatever)

Then Megatron and Starscream flee like little defeated bitches, and the end they sail in a navy ship, Optimus and Sam side by side representing their races alliance.

Dr. Spock wrote:Same thing DBE fans said about DBE. The fight suns suck nothing like the cartoons!

Dr. Spock wrote:I watch the animated series more than anyone! It's pretty lam created too I hate it and TRUE Transformers fans should.